It was not what John Harbaugh had envisioned as the pinnacle of his sport. Growing up, he watched Super Bowl-winning coaches being carried off the field by their players or drenched in Gatorade showers.
But when the Baltimore Ravens beat the San Francisco 49ers 34-31 to capture Super Bowl XLVII in 2013, John was surprised to find himself alone on the field. Then it dawned on him. He knew what he had to do.
After the only Super Bowl featuring siblings as head coaches, John found his younger brother Jim and shook his hand. Then, he started to lean in for an embrace, but Jim put an outstretched forearm into John’s chest.
“There will be no hug,” he told John.
On Monday, John and Jim will meet again as opposing coaches for the first time since that historic and emotionally taxing matchup over 11 years ago. John will take his Ravens (7-4) across the country to face Jim’s Los Angeles Chargers (7-3) at SoFi Stadium (8:15 p.m. ET, ESPN/ABC).
The feeling among family members is this won’t be Har-Bowl, Part 2. The stakes aren’t nearly as high this time around. John and Jim’s teams are battling for AFC playoff seeding, not football’s biggest prize — the Vince Lombardi Trophy.
But for brothers who competed in the backyard and on the biggest stage in football, bragging rights will always be on the line. When people point out John is 2-0 against Jim, John makes a correction: He’s 3-0. John beat Jim in a preseason game between the Ravens and 49ers in 2014.
John recently recited what he heard Jim say during the week leading up to their Super Bowl.
“‘When that game starts, my brothers are going to be the guys on the sideline with me,'” John said. “That is the way it works. When you get on that sideline, you stake out your territory on a football game and you’re with your family over there.”
The Harbaughs are the only brothers to face each other as head coaches in the NFL’s 105-year history and in the championship game of a major American sport. The first meeting happened on Thanksgiving in 2011, when the Ravens beat the 49ers 16-6. The next came in the Super Bowl a season later, which was another triumph for John — but this is rarely spoken about between the brothers.
John didn’t hear Jim speak positively about that game until three years ago. Jim had driven with his son Jack in an RV from Michigan to John’s house in Maryland. They went into John’s recreational barn, which has a picture from the Super Bowl hanging inside.
“We don’t really talk about that, do we, Dad?” said Jack, now 12 years old.
Jim replied, “It’s okay to talk about that. That was a great day for Uncle John. We’re happy to celebrate that.”
Others are unsure whether Jim has fully come to terms with that loss.
“I think he’s still working on it,” said their father, Jack.
JOHN AND JIM’S father has become the subject of the most debated Super Bowl story in the family.
According to Jim, he couldn’t sleep after losing the Super Bowl and started channel surfing when he saw his father on TV celebrating at the Ravens’ victory party. Jim said Jack was doing the twist while smoking a cigar.
“That’s not true,” John said.
Jim shot back, “I don’t lie.”
Jack pushed back as well, saying, “I’ve never had a cigar in my mouth.”
Super Bowl XLVII is remembered as Hall of Fame middle linebacker Ray Lewis’ final game and for a power outage that caused a 34-minute blackout at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. But for Jim it’s the pivotal non-call in the final minutes that has stuck with him.
With San Francisco trailing by three points, 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick’s fourth-down pass from the 5-yard line sailed over wide receiver Michael Crabtree’s head in the end zone. Officials determined that Ravens cornerback Jimmy Smith’s contact with Crabtree was incidental, but Jim insisted a holding penalty should have been called.
Jim didn’t speak to John for five days after the Super Bowl. John was on a train to New York, heading there to appear on the “Late Show with David Letterman,” when he finally got a call from Jim. To this day, John believes Jim called him out of fear that his older brother would tell a national audience that he hadn’t heard from him.
John recalls it being a great conversation until Jim brought up the officiating.
“It was kind of left at that over the years,” John said.
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John is in his 17th season coaching the Ravens, making him the second-longest tenured coach in the league, behind only Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin. Jim spent four seasons with the 49ers from 2011 to 2014 before leaving to coach at Michigan for nine years.
Both usually send game film to their father, a longtime college coach who won the Division I-AA title at Western Kentucky in 2002. Jack watches the tape and calls his sons with his thoughts.
Those calls with Jack have been different since January, when Jim left Michigan after winning the national championship and returned to the NFL. There is an understanding that you can’t tell any team secrets to Jack, especially this past week.
“It’s both of them,” Jack said. “They say, ‘I would like to tell you this, but if there’s any thought that you would share it with the other one, I’m not going to do it.'”
JACKIE, THEIR MOTHER, says, “They’re almost like twins.”
Born 15 months apart, John and Jim mirror each other, from football philosophy to wardrobe to personnel and coaching staffs.
Both want to play a physical brand of football by establishing the run, typically wear ball caps and khakis on the practice field and love parroting the mantras their father shared with his players. In his first news conference, Jim told reporters, “We’re going to be a tough team, a resilient team, a relentless team, a physical team; that’s what we’re going to aspire to be. Don’t let the powder blues fool you.” In postgame speeches, John has shouted to his players, “Who’s got it better than us?”
The similarities extend to the locker room. Jim is coaching seven of John’s former players — running backs J.K. Dobbins and Gus Edwards, center Sam Mustipher, safety Tony Jefferson, cornerback Shaun Wade, tight end Hayden Hurst and center Bradley Bozeman — all of whom joined the Chargers after Jim became coach in January. John’s backup quarterback is Josh Johnson, who was coached by Jim at the University of San Diego.
Even the coaching staffs are intertwined. Chargers offensive coordinator Greg Roman served as John’s offensive coordinator for the Ravens (2019-22) after he was the 49ers’ OC during Jim’s four seasons. Chargers defensive coordinator Jesse Minter received his first NFL job under John, serving as a Ravens defensive assistant (2017-20). Three other Chargers coaches — Andy Bischoff (tight ends), Mike Devlin (offensive line) and Marc Trestman (senior offensive assistant) — previously worked under John. Chargers GM Joe Hortiz also spent 26 years in the Ravens’ front office, where he helped build the Super Bowl-winning team that beat Jim.
When the Ravens needed a defensive backs coach this offseason, John hired Doug Mallory, a college teammate of Jim’s who spent the past three seasons as a defensive analyst at Michigan. Mallory remembers being in a coaches meeting with the Atlanta Falcons five years ago and being asked who was the most competitive person he knew. Mallory said Jim at the time, but he would probably include both Harbaugh brothers after working with John this year.
“They don’t like to lose,” Mallory said. “They’re going to do everything they can to win.”
During this year’s training camp, a video of a 60-year-old Jim participating in reverse sled pulls went viral.
ur coach could never pic.twitter.com/cXolRbnX9l
— Los Angeles Chargers (@chargers) July 26, 2024
Not to be outdone, two weeks later, the 62-year-old John joined a fumble recovery drill that involved a player jumping on the ball while others douse him with water hoses. John injured a shoulder.
Last one best one 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/cUdc9gI77d
— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) August 6, 2024
“They’re very passionate about the game of football,” Josh Johnson said. “It’s the environment that they create. The winners are the workers. They’re going to work you in a way where your team is going to be ready to compete and can will your way to victory.”
LONG BEFORE THEY competed in billion-dollar NFL stadiums, they tried to best each other in their backyard. John and Jim played a childhood game of “chicken,” firing a football at each other from increasingly close range until one of them dropped it or quit.
There were also one-on-one battles in the driveway. Armed with tennis balls and hockey sticks, John and Jim took turns aiming at a goal made of chicken wire, though many of the shots ending up hitting the windows of their one-car garage.
“We didn’t have any pads or anything, and we would go for hours and just tabulate who could score more against the other guy,” John said. “Knocked out every window eventually. I think Mom put cardboard on all those windows.”
Jim was the bigger and stronger athlete. He starred as quarterback at Michigan and became a starter for the Bears, Colts, Ravens and Chargers. John was a partial-scholarship defensive back at Miami (Ohio).
“Jim was one of the most underrated quarterbacks in the history of the National Football League,” John said. “And I’ve said this many times.”
The Harbaughs have always had each other’s backs. When John was a junior cornerback at Pioneer High in Ann Arbor, Michigan, Jim was a freshman who watched from the stands, too young to play on varsity.
There was a game when John was dominating, knocking down a couple of passes on out patterns. Jim sensed the opposing team was setting up John for a double move, and their father urged Jim to go tell his brother. After running down the steps, Jim yelled from the fence: “Out-and-up! Out-and-up!”
When the other team tried the double move, John was all over it. “I’m glad we got to him,” Jim said.
Eventually, Jim made varsity, and when he threw a pass to John (who also played receiver in high school), the announcer declared, “Harbaugh to Harbaugh.”
“That was one of those moments that stay with me for a long time,” Jackie said.
The only time they played on opposing teams growing up was in baseball, as teenagers. John got recruited to play for a higher-level travel team, and Jim played for a team that was coached by their father.
When they faced each other, John’s team came out on top 1-0.
“So I won that one, too,” John said with a smile.
WHEN THE LEAGUE announced its 2024 schedule in May, Jackie couldn’t believe the date for the Ravens-Chargers game. It’s Nov. 25, Jackie and Jack’s 63rd wedding anniversary.
“What the heck is the NFL trying to do here?” Jackie remembers asking.
Jack and Jackie don’t watch games together anymore. Jack sits in front of the upstairs TV, while Jackie watches the downstairs one.
Jackie has to be on her feet when the game is on, calling plays out and criticizing the officials. Jack is the quieter one — who has one complaint when they’re in the same room.
“Sometimes she gets in the line of vision where I can’t see,” Jack said.
Upon hearing this, Jackie cried out, “For God’s sake.”
When the Ravens and Chargers play in Los Angeles, Jack and Jackie will be in Florida with their daughter, Joani Crean, and her family. (Crean is married to former Indiana and Georgia men’s basketball coach Tom Crean, currently a TV analyst for ESPN.) The plan is for everyone to watch the game together — in the same room.
Asked how her father and mother will handle this latest game between John and Jim, Joani recalls the Super Bowl when the family was in NFL commissioner Roger Goodell’s box.
“It was the quietest any of us have ever been watching a game,” she said. “So I think I’m expecting that … maybe.”
For the first time since that Super Bowl, football’s greatest sibling rivalry will be rekindled. But those closest to John and Jim don’t expect the same level of drama.
“I guess everybody’s more weathered to it,” Joani said. “It’s not something you circle on your calendar.”
Earlier this year, John told Jack that Monday night’s game has to be easier on everyone because it’s not the Super Bowl. This time, whatever happens, John and Jim still have a chance to lead their teams to the postseason and an NFL title.
“So, when he said that, it made sense,” Jack said. “I kind of shook my head and I said, ‘There’s probably a lot of truth to that.'”
Kris Rhim contributed to this story.
